Tag Archives: surrendering to God

Patience & Joy

God has been speaking to me tonight about two things in particular.  Patience and joy!

To just look for the Grace of my God…Seeking the presence of my Savior in the midst of trials instead of asking for a way of escape. That’s all I’ve done up until this point, ask for ways out. But what if there’s some growing here? Maybe I can’t see the blessings in this wilderness? Oh! But He’s NEVER failed me, and HE IS FAITHFUL! He said He’d never leave me nor forsake me, and I BELIEVE HIM!

I am now (in this actual moment as I write. Thank YOU, HOLY SPIRIT for this revelation!) beginning to see that I am uncomfortable giving up the control I believed I had. I had scenarios planned out and what I thought the answers to all my problems looked like ready in my head, but God had other plans. I guess I am in the process of learning to actually trust God and loosen my grip on everything. The fact that I am able to sit and type this shows He has sustained me and brought me this far in the wilderness I have been walking in for a little while now. THANK YOU JESUS FOR SAVING ME!!!

I know He is doing something in the midst of the pain and darkness. There is purpose for our pain in Christ! Everything will work out for our good in JESUS!

James 1:2-4 (KJV)

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

Hebrews 12:1-11 (KJV)

1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.

Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.

And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.

11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

Romans 5:1-5 (KJV)

1 Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:

By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;

And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.


Romans 8:28 (KJV) And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

 

What I Found in the Dark.

I spent most of my childhood, teen years, and early twenties hating my body. It was never good enough. The one year that I was able to get into a single digit two-piece swimsuit, I still didn’t look like page 23 in that month’s issue of Seventeen!!!

Discrepancy is defined as… a conflict or variation, as between facts, figures, or claims

The ideal-me I dreamed up, founded on the looks of pop stars and celebrities of my time didn’t ever match up with who I really was, nor does it now…with my current appearance and who I have become. It’s so strange to now actually be okay with who I am. I have a lot of weight to lose. I can definitely relate to Kelly Clarkson right now, currently a plus sized beauty, dealing with public fat shaming. Who are these people to tell us what is beautiful and acceptable? If the fields of the earth were covered in Lilies alone, wouldn’t it be boring? Sunflowers, Daisies, Roses, Marigolds, and all the rest makeup the perfect mix the Lord created!

I didn’t get here on my own. Being above a particular weight was NOT AN OPTION at age 16 for example. Now, I’m relaxed but putting forth the effort to achieve a healthier weight. My eating disorder and body image struggles no longer govern my life. Freedom, peace…I’ve been liberated!

You might ask how?

I sought treatment of course in both private and group therapy with the aid of medication as well. Those were essential and definitely set me on the right course, but…

The keystone element, the stream in my desert that freed me from myself…was God!

In the darkest of days, it was difficult to entertain thoughts of Divine comfort and healing from God and Jesus Christ…but it did happen. Treatment for our greatest struggles in life is such a blessing, but can you imagine how much more powerful, how better an outcome there is…when the Creator of the Universe is behind it all!?!

When I let go and let God in on my treatment, things got better. Not overnight, or even in a few months. Its different for everyone, but when I began actually trying to have a relationship with Him on my end of the line, praying and seeking His Truth…My wounds began to slowly close up-and over time, no more “Band-aids.” Patience. I was restless and ready to move on with my life. So tired of devoting so much time and effort into therapy and learning to love myself. But, you know, it paid off.

Along the road to Recovery, as I walked with God I became enlightened. One night when I had my Bible out I stumbled upon this verse that changed me forever.

Psalm 139:14…

Amen.

God is the Great Physician, the Greatest Artist..a Father to the fatherless, a husband to the husband-less. The Lord God Almighty fills in those holes you and I know all too well. I spent so much time searching for something to complete me, to make me acceptable. I had no clue that It was there all along.

Just thought I’d share this as a little encouragement to everyone tonight. My prayer is that you will step back and consider your worth, your beauty.

God bless always

-Amanda

Surrendering to God

Being a Christian is one of the most difficult things a person can do, if they do it with all of their heart, living out the Truth they follow and proclaim. To live by the Spirit is against our carnal nature. So…when we choose to follow God and not ourselves, there’s this friction. Sparks fly.

I’ve been a Christian for 15 years now. However, it wasn’t long ago that I really dove in, head first. In my younger years, I was a foot-in-the-water kind of Christian.  I was a good kid, never got into any trouble in high school. In fact I did great in academics and extracurricular with music, drama, and art. I stayed busy, but I drank very little of God’s Milk. My growth was stunted. It would be years before I would become the person I am today, and do the better things that I now can do.

I am not the strongest I will ever be. This is a journey, and we don’t stop until God calls it. Our mission on earth is incomplete until the day of Christ. We all have a part in the grand scheme story that God made called life. Sometimes it just gets uncomfortable and so difficult when you try and do the right thing. When you try to forgive somebody who’s using and mistreating someone close to home and to heart, when you are not able to finish goals and dreams you set long before your ship wrecked. When finding out that doing it God’s way seems unfair. You want to curse at that person, talk trash about them behind their back. You blame God and/or yourself for unfinished dreams and goals. Truth is, you’re not alone. That’s human life, trying to understand the Divine.

For me, losing my father this year was one of life’s hardest lessons thus far. I was blessed to have him and know him all my life as a father, as a loving husband to my mother, and as a man of God. Even with the Amazing hope of Heaven, knowing my father died in the Lord and is resting in Him now, It still hurts, naturally. My mother losing sight of her left eye a month later was so difficult. We thought we would be in the clear for a while, but the storm was not over.

The storms of life, like the two biggies of 2014 for me, can nearly tear us apart, and like a wrecked car, total our emotions.  But at the same time, everything changes. The eyes of my heart opened up this summer and my understanding and walking with the Lord just grew like never before. The pain of the disaster, and living through it, led me into a better shape spiritually. The horrible things that have happened have left me better off, concerning my soul.

I finally get the whole Surrender Thing. It all makes sense.