God has been speaking to me tonight about two things in particular. Patience and joy!
To just look for the Grace of my God…Seeking the presence of my Savior in the midst of trials instead of asking for a way of escape. That’s all I’ve done up until this point, ask for ways out. But what if there’s some growing here? Maybe I can’t see the blessings in this wilderness? Oh! But He’s NEVER failed me, and HE IS FAITHFUL! He said He’d never leave me nor forsake me, and I BELIEVE HIM!
I am now (in this actual moment as I write. Thank YOU, HOLY SPIRIT for this revelation!) beginning to see that I am uncomfortable giving up the control I believed I had. I had scenarios planned out and what I thought the answers to all my problems looked like ready in my head, but God had other plans. I guess I am in the process of learning to actually trust God and loosen my grip on everything. The fact that I am able to sit and type this shows He has sustained me and brought me this far in the wilderness I have been walking in for a little while now. THANK YOU JESUS FOR SAVING ME!!!
I know He is doing something in the midst of the pain and darkness. There is purpose for our pain in Christ! Everything will work out for our good in JESUS!
James 1:2-4 (KJV)
2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
Hebrews 12:1-11 (KJV)
1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.
4 Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.
5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.
11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
Romans 5:1-5 (KJV)
1 Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:
2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
Romans 8:28 (KJV) And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Earlier today, while looking through the guest bedroom, I happened to glance up at an old, framed family photo. A thousand memories flooded my mind. The contrast between everything I know today…and who and where we were back then…is just jaw-dropping. Oh, how everything has changed. I’ve heard that my whole life, but this morning it really sunk in.
Of course, people change throughout their lives, one stage to the next. A sharp sting and a dull ache at the same time. The troubles we knew then were nothing compared to the ones to come. Gazing at myself in the picture, my tiny 16 year old body…frail inside and out, I recalled all I was dealing with at the time in high school. Rejection. Bulimia. Becoming a Christian. The successes in extracurricular activities. My broken heart. Comparison, comparison. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be a teenager attending public school in today’s world…
Now, here I sit a strong woman of God. I’m no different than any other Christian, just trying to live the rest of my days faithful to Jesus, to God. My heart goes out to that confused and broken girl. In the end it was all in my head. Yes, I had some real issues to be tended to, but so much deception by the enemy himself as I chose Jesus. I didn’t know about spiritual warfare. At least not how real it really is.
Choosing Jesus is the best thing you could ever do. People won’t always understand why you’ve changed…how you changed. Your lifestyle, goals, worldview. Following Jesus means walking the straight & narrow road, traveled by few. Sometimes you feel alone, especially if you have no support at home. But you see, in this wilderness...you are transformed. In what seems to be the darkness, something beautiful happens. You find out who you are. That you were made for more. You are a Child of God.