Hi, I’m Amanda

me1

Hello, everyone! I’m Amanda. I stand with scars of both my body and my mind, and I am proud to say that God has made me new again.

I am a “former Bulimic.” I found recovery at 22…so it’s been 10 years now.  I have dealt with Bipolar disorder since the manic outburst at age 18. In 2003 I majored in psychology at a liberal arts college in my hometown, where I fell in love with the study of the human mind. I used to believe with all my heart (and heavily encouraged others) that therapy/counseling can really help you develop new insights to life and get better. That all that was the answer…NOT. I sit here at 32 years old in awe at the truth that has been revealed to me by Jesus Christ through my own experience just this year in 2017. Everything I have ever known and sworn by in the mental health community is now dead.

It was all demonic.

I grew up with the mentality that I never actually added up. Tremendous anger…rage, envy, comparison, frustration, self-hatred, and eventually self-harm. Disgust at my own reflection. The majority of my life I considered myself defect. People were not my friends and they better than me, or even against me because I believed so in my heart. Oh, how I fought so hard against my body-which has been healthy for the most part of my life. I can never add up the hours spent degrading & slandering my own part in creation. I declared myself a mistake.

I loved the way I wanted to look more than God. For years, 24/7 around the clock, everything was about not messing up, and getting closer to beautiful.  I would go over everything I ate that day, weigh myself, and then over exercise myself to pieces. Anything to get there. I’ve dealt with the fear of rejection or abandonment all of my life because of being a bullied, very heavy child. In all of my failures, the eating disorder was the dictator of my life.  I just knew if I lost a little more, and then a little more…that I would be accepted. I would have a normal teenage life, an actual boyfriend who would like me for me.

That’s not the truth.

I was such a very depressed child and teen, and always confused with what was wrong with me. I felt I was different. Looking back there was so much negativity and bad/sad experiences. It was the horrific, strange events and experiences that led to my psychiatric diagnosis. I was infatuated with a Sergeant of the U.S. Army and wound up running away to Radcliff, KY and Fort Knox to be with him for a few days. I was insane and out of my mind because I was demon posessed. Parents: Monitor your teens internet activity from time to time, because you just never know…
This was just the beginning.

I began to cut. The scars of self harm remain on my body to this day.  Cutting is a demonic behavior. It says so in The Bible:

Mark 5:1-5  (KJV)

1 And they came over unto the other side of the sea, into the country of the Gadarenes.

And when he was come out of the ship, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit,

Who had his dwelling among the tombs; and no man could bind him, no, not with chains:

Because that he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been plucked asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him.

And always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones.

 

So at age 18 that my family and I discovered “I’d been living my entire young life undiagnosed with Bipolar disorder.” Nope. It’s ABSOLUTELY NOT what I have thought all these years. My current understanding is that what happened to me was a full, all-out demonic possession. At 16 years of age I began to practice Yoga at the local gym in ignorance. I had never heard of yoga, and certainly not the truth about it being a WIDE OPEN DOOR to demonic possession. I never heard about the Kundalini spirit and opening of Chakras until just this year of 2017. I believe this was where it all began for me. I have shared a tiny testimony video at the bottom of this page about it all.

The Bipolar diagnosis brought along a handful of hospitalizations, routine maintenance Cognitive Behavioral therapy, and medications. Because of the obstacles that followed, I found myself at the foot of The Cross, where true healing begins. Turns out this whole thing is a spiritual battle. Mental illnesses (and physical diseases, even cancer) are really demonic and can be cast out in the Name of Jesus if you are born again! It’s called Deliverance Ministry.

Turns out, I don’t need a psychiatrist and a handful of pills twice a day, I need Jesus. I just found out myself and have much editing to do to my blog now that I know the truth. Do not stop your meds on your own. I’m a work in progress. Psychology and psychiatric drugs is what mankind uses instead of the healing and deliverance that is in The Bible. The healing that Jesus provides has ZERO side effects and sets you completely free, not just helping you get by. Praise God!

Mark 16:17-18 (KJV) 17 And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; 18 They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

Once you’ve tasted living water, you can’t go back.

I have much to say about this as I am in the midst of a breakthrough event of a lifetime right now!

I’ve never been more alive. I will keep you posted 😉

 

34 responses

  1. Thanks so much for visiting my site and choosing to follow along.

  2. Hey, thanks for the follow, been reading some of your posts. interesting stuff. Shall be sticking around for more. Happy holidays 🙂

    1. Thanks for the compliment! Glad you like! Happy Holidays to you as well 🙂

  3. Mandi, May I reblog The Secret to Life…tomorrow on Better Endings? If you like, send along a bio and the web info you would want to share. Linda Watts

    1. Hello Dr. Watts, I’d love for you to reblog The Secret to Life if you like! Sounds like a plan! 🙂
      I am currently in the process of submitting a brief bio for you to include at Better Endings. I am sending it to the ‘contact us’ at betterendingsnow.com
      Thanks! -Mandi

      1. Hi Again, Mandi,
        I have re-blogged your story as day 2 of A Moth of the Best of Better Endings.
        Linda

      2. Thank you so much, Linda! It means so much that you did! It is very much appreciated. Blessings, always, Mandi 🙂

      3. It’s a nice perspective, Mandi.The secret: Let go and Let God!

  4. Great! Just use my email in the contact menu. Great post!!

  5. […] is the author of Caged No More. Her Bio can be found by clicking on: moodymandi . The heading of Mandi’s original Caged No More post is as […]

  6. I have nominated you for the Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award. Acceptance is not requisite, but do know how much you have blessed me. Should you choose to receive this nomination, further info can be found on my post: http://booknvolume.com/2013/12/29/be-the-blessing/

  7. Hey Mandi! I’m glad I read your about me section here, as we have a lot in common. I am also Bipolar with Mania. I am also a recovering Bulimic for 11 years now. Still working on it. I’m stable with medicine for bipolar, but still find it hard. I’m glad we have a lot in common. Nice meeting you!!!!

    1. Hey there! I am very glad you read the about me too, I am still checking your stuff out, Its so great to connect with someone who can really relate, you know? Grats on recovery and in doing your best with the Bipolar. Its a pleasure to meet you too! Looking forward to reading your upcoming work!!! ❤

  8. Michelle Mueller | Reply

    Hi Mandi! Thank you for following me at Words and Wanderings! Your outlook on life is inspirational, and it’s great to meet a kindred spirit — who knows what she wants and goes for it. I will keep an eye out for more of your posts. 🙂

    1. Thank you so much, Michelle! I am looking forward to more of your work as well! 🙂
      God bless!!! ❤

  9. Hey Mandi, thanks for dropping by my blog and wanting to follow the madness. hope to see you more often.

  10. Hey there Mandi. Awesome to find you here. It’s night here in my neck of the woods, but am looking forward to checking out some of your posts tomorrow. I’m a Christian too. Take medication for anxiety and depression. I’m great on it, and scared of myself without it.
    Blessings =)
    –Staci (A God Coloured Girl in a Grey World)

  11. I just wanted to say how much I appreciate the follow of our blog. I never want to take it for granted.
    A Servant
    P.S. Next week I’ll be introducing a new blog idea and will be asking for input. I sure would like for you to chime in with what you think.

  12. Thank you for sharing and Greetings from Gede Prama 🙂

    1. Thank you as well, Gede Prama! 🙂
      Thanks for stopping by!
      Hope you have a great week!

  13. […] is the author of Caged No More. Her Bio can be found by clicking on: moodymandi . The heading of Mandi’s original Caged No More post is as […]

  14. Hi dear, I have nominated you for the Liebster Award, Do check here http://thereadingbud.wordpress.com/2014/05/29/liebster-award/
    If you are interested, do participate.. 🙂

    1. thank you so much! I will get on that today for sure! God bless you my friend! thanks again 🙂

      1. My pleasure dear. Congrats and well-deserved 🙂

  15. Everyone is dealing with something is so true!!! I am so glad in came here!! Wonderful blog and i am going through some things myself so i feel so good reading you!!!

    1. Thank you so very much for your kind words, 10eveningflowers! ❤ I am so glad you've come along here and are finding things you like 🙂 God bless!

  16. vegantarian lifestyle | Reply

    I just spend quite some time scrolling down your blog. you have great and diverse content, I really like it. Glad I found your blog.
    Best to you,
    Lou

    http://vegantarianlifestyle.com

    1. Thank you so much, Lou! I appreciate it. Have a wonderful weekend! 🙂
      -Amanda

  17. I Amanda! Thank you for what you are doing with your blog! I was encouraged and enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading more on it. Also, thanks for stopping by my blog. Have a nice day and much peace and love to you. 🙂

  18. Hi Amanda: Great Page!
    Kindly support me on Facebook Fanpage. Appreciate if you could please ‘like’ my page :

    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mihran-Kalaydjian-Piano-Melodies/551764811595468

  19. Much love as you enter your 30s. I think 40s are pretty good here. My thirties prepared me pretty good. I appreciate all of your visits. ❤
    Much love —
    Laurie

  20. Hi Amanda, Thanks for stopping by my page, I hope you were encouraged. Keep up the writing, good stuff!

    1. Thank you! Encouraged indeed!
      God bless, my friend 🙂

  21. Shalom from Israel – Toda Raba ( Thank you)

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