When I Messed Up

I made a mistake tonight, nothing huge, but it really hurt. What I did really stole my joy within a couple of moments thereafter. And then it hit me. I had a very inspiring thought which was obviously from the Holy Spirit within me… I questioned my pain, unlike ever in my existence. I rationalized in Spirit that the hurt I was experiencing was nothing. Maybe some years back I would’ve remained devastated for a very long period of time, replaying it all in my mind. Not now. For it is now that I have an understanding that there is far more than this. The pain endured in this world while we are alive for an uncertain amount of years cannot be compared to the Glory that is to be revealed to us later. At this point in my life I’m able to let go of my mistakes more easily and sometimes more quickly. I see the suffering in the world. The depression, panic, anxieties, poverty, wars, persecution, evil…I wouldn’t trade this acquired wisdom for anything. Oh, how the world needs more love. More compassion and patience.

This past year, I have become so very much closer to my Maker, God Almighty, my first Love. This faith explosion in the deepest parts of my heart, in all of my innermost being has really changed my life. If you’re wondering how this happened, it all began in July 2014 when I went shopping for clothes. I found a few beautiful pieces on sale in a very popular clothing store, known for its quality and great deals. Anyway, after I’d been home for while, I realized that at the particular time I was living in, I didn’t need all 3. I felt like I could’ve used my money in a better way. My husband drove me back to the store, I ran inside and got a refund on 2 of the 3 pieces. It was difficult to let these go (especially because of the difficulty to find such great clothing actually in store and not online in a plus size.)

My husband suggested we go someplace different. We wound up at this huge retail park behind the city mall. I had no clue where to go until he was like “Why don’t you go into that Christian bookstore?” A light came on inside and the idea was very exciting.  So I went in. I came out with a Bible study workbook for women called Stuck, by Christian author Jennie Allen. It was the cover that sold me, and I was truly stuck at the time. It was the first actual way that I ever sought to study the Bible for myself, alone, outside of Church. Oh boy, this Study-book was the beginning of great things!

I began diving deeper into God’s Word. When I would share Scripture online on those cute, motivational posters, the times I looked things up that referenced to various verses & parts of the Bible, I looked for myself to verify it.

Following the birth of my first real journey in the Word, was the adding of more Christian songs to my Spotify playlists. I discovered all sorts of new music by artists I’d never heard of. God literally put a new song in my heart. Free-falling into a full-time Christian lifestyle was a gradual process. We are on this journey and forever growing closer to Him and learning. My hope, my faith, my determination…Everything grew.

I set out to create a post to encourage others tonight because the world is hurting right now.  We are all dealing with something…I see the search engine terms on my blog stats. Many people are searching with the word depression. I want you to know that I, and billions of others are suffering with you tonight. I hope these posters that I gathered online will offer some encouragement tonight.

God bless you, precious ones.

besaved

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