Being a Christian is one of the most difficult things a person can do, if they do it with all of their heart, living out the Truth they follow and proclaim. To live by the Spirit is against our carnal nature. So…when we choose to follow God and not ourselves, there’s this friction. Sparks fly.
I’ve been a Christian for 15 years now. However, it wasn’t long ago that I really dove in, head first. In my younger years, I was a foot-in-the-water kind of Christian. I was a good kid, never got into any trouble in high school. In fact I did great in academics and extracurricular with music, drama, and art. I stayed busy, but I drank very little of God’s Milk. My growth was stunted. It would be years before I would become the person I am today, and do the better things that I now can do.
I am not the strongest I will ever be. This is a journey, and we don’t stop until God calls it. Our mission on earth is incomplete until the day of Christ. We all have a part in the grand scheme story that God made called life. Sometimes it just gets uncomfortable and so difficult when you try and do the right thing. When you try to forgive somebody who’s using and mistreating someone close to home and to heart, when you are not able to finish goals and dreams you set long before your ship wrecked. When finding out that doing it God’s way seems unfair. You want to curse at that person, talk trash about them behind their back. You blame God and/or yourself for unfinished dreams and goals. Truth is, you’re not alone. That’s human life, trying to understand the Divine.
For me, losing my father this year was one of life’s hardest lessons thus far. I was blessed to have him and know him all my life as a father, as a loving husband to my mother, and as a man of God. Even with the Amazing hope of Heaven, knowing my father died in the Lord and is resting in Him now, It still hurts, naturally. My mother losing sight of her left eye a month later was so difficult. We thought we would be in the clear for a while, but the storm was not over.
The storms of life, like the two biggies of 2014 for me, can nearly tear us apart, and like a wrecked car, total our emotions. But at the same time, everything changes. The eyes of my heart opened up this summer and my understanding and walking with the Lord just grew like never before. The pain of the disaster, and living through it, led me into a better shape spiritually. The horrible things that have happened have left me better off, concerning my soul.
I finally get the whole Surrender Thing. It all makes sense.