Following up with yesterday’s post…
I’ve decided I do not want a job or to go down a path of career. Money means nothing to me. I know I must be able to get by-and I am, but I have no desire to become a certified corporate example of success. I’m not that invincible, giddy, highly impulsive, 18 year old girl now. I am a 29 year old woman in an entirely different place in life, worlds away from the manic college student. No degree, but I did get 60 hours. Sixty hours…until it all went down. Until it all caught up with me and the euphoria became rage.
I guess what hurts the most is that I’m in the waiting room and not back in my office, behind the front desk… The whole therapist career plan is so ironic now. In school, they fill our heads with college this and that and their definition of success. Then when reality hits us right in the face years down the road, we’re left lost, to start from scratch, with a library of self-help books. I have nothing against self-help books because I myself have a personal library. Indeed they do provide great tips and insights as to bringing about positive change in life and much more, but we are all unalike. Our brain chemistries vary. Bipolar disorder is complex, person to person.
People who desire to lose weight often go on a diet to achieve the ultimate weight-loss results they so desire. They see it as a fix. An answer. That’s not the case with those of us living with Bipolar disorder. There is no fix, and as far as I know, no cure. It’s maintenance. Success is finding the sought after even line in life and maintaining it. Bipolar success is found in sorting things out in therapy-finding coping mechanisms as opposed to self-medicating. It’s about finding a psychiatrist/medical provider that suits you, and the right medications (which can take a while, as in more than one year…patience). Living with Bipolar disorder is a way of life, not a diet. By now most of us know that diets do not work. In order to achieve the best body and health possible, we must change our lifestyle and live it out until we pass away.
Bipolar stability is a way of life, not a pill.
Take care of your body so that you can take care of your mind. When we follow our treatment plans religiously, then we can expect to see results. Nobody wants to go from living wildly and free to staying in bed during the trial and error of Bipolar medications. But hey, in this case doing what we don’t want to do can save our lives.