I feel like I am crawling around on the rails after being hit by a train.
Maybe I am finally learning my lesson. If something can take you sky high it sure can take you pretty darn low, too.
The eyes of my spirit are slowly beginning to open though. The emotional numbness that I get from Caffeine is beginning to wear off—a wee bit. This means my natural feelings are on their way back. The real me is on its way home. I am one spec closer to being able to make decisions and have them be accurate according to my soul and the heart of me. I am a good person, but Caffeine turns me into someone I’m not. Being a Psychoactive Drug, especially consumed in larger quantities this time around, my moods have cycled rapidly and I’m sure I’ve acted out of anger too quickly at some point.
I’ve been praying for God to let me hear The Holy Spirit more clearly. I know that I am doing the right thing by cutting this harmful stimulant out of my life, but I’m also seeking Divine Help. I’ve asked The Father to let the Holy Spirit speak a little louder to me. I am seeking with open ears for guidance. I know He’s inside of me. I just never gave any of this the proper amount of recognition it deserves. So, I am opening myself up. I’m coming closer, and beginning to trust my God.
Before I began this detox, In a moment of despair and uncertainty, I Googled “How to trust God.”
“The secret lies in putting this truth into practice, by making it such a powerful theme in your life that you view every event, every sorrow, every prayer with the unshakable conviction that God is totally, spotlessly trustworthy.”
I found a little article that spoke to me. I know the Bible is The Truth, I just wanted to see what a search engine had to say. What would another Christian think? Clicking the quote will take you to my search result.
-More below from the article:
The Secret Behind This Secret
The secret lives within you: the Holy Spirit. Not only will he convict you of the rightness of trusting in the Lord, he’ll help you do it. It’s just too tough to do on your own.
Because the Holy Spirit knows you better than you know yourself, he’ll give you exactly what you need to make this change. He’s infinitely patient, so he’ll let you test this secret—trusting in the Lord—in little baby steps. He’ll catch you if you stumble. He’ll rejoice with you when you succeed.”
Finally… Let us all think on this:
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.”
It’s hard living in a world like this when you’re waiting on the next one to be your real home…
I am praying for Israel, Ukraine, and everywhere else in the world that there is such war, such turmoil. Can it be much longer? God knows we are hanging on down here. He doesn’t want anyone to perish.
Basically, in accordance with my faith, I do not want to bring something into my body that affects my mind and everything so profoundly in a negative way that I would make the wrong decisions and winding up destroying a relationship or even my very own life (with poor choices).
…Choices just add up.