Up Until Now.

I miss picking the roses made of icing off of my childhood birthday cakes. It was so pleasurable and exciting! Such a simple thing it is that still yet sticks out in my mind. Birthdays were so special like that one, when my dad got me my first bike for turning 5 (training wheels of course), and mom decorated and made things extra special. My sister was there because it occurred before her early marriage which led to her leaving home (we are 13 years apart). All of the family was there, including my first best friends-a couple of my cousins who were around the same age. What an amazing memory…

I miss the tree swing my daddy made for me out of board and rope on one of the huge, very tall and round trees in our front yard. He always wanted to go the extra mile to make his girls happy-and he did. I always had a dog, all through childhood. He loved animals and shared that with me. Some of my best memories were the quiet moments on the back porch when I would cry my tears into the long, brown hair of my Collie, Champ. He understood. I’ve always had a thing for animals. We just click.  Ahh…another awesome memory. Thank the Lord above for the love that was felt in the house that built me as Miranda Lambert would say.

Now that I’m a grown woman, nearing 30, things are so different. Times aren’t as slow, living is fast. Life is flying by me. I’ve lost 3 loved ones in less than 2 years-one of them being a parent. The loss of my dad has had a profound impact on my life, but I am at peace knowing that his suffering is over.

This is the last year in my 20’s! So…I think I have lost 40 something pounds since the beginning of this year, and I’m still going. I have a ways to go to get to the healthy point, but I am so grateful for the results of the change after a 5 year stand still since the beginning of my father’s horrible health ordeal. I have learned so much in this tender decade of my being.

  • I learned what Bipolar disorder is-never heard of it until my diagnosis.
  • I conquered Bulimia at 22.
  • I completed the second half of earned college credits.
  • I worked as a Hostess at a nice restaurant, being so social.
  • I went through a series of bad dates/relationships/poor choices in love, but my BFF “Schrutie” reminded me of my self worth and saved my life from a psycho.
  • schurtie
  • Schrutie and I 🙂
  • I married a man I met online and knew for around 6 months. We are still married today-5 years plus.
  • wed
  • I made a major life decision to have a tubal ligation because of my genetics for Bipolar disorder and how horrific the pregnancy (and LIFE) would be for my baby and me etc…
  • I found myself at my at my all-time heaviest weight.

 

I am doing something about all of this now. I am prepping for 30!

-Amanda-

 

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