I stand with scars of both my body and my mind, and I am proud to say that God has made me new again. My story is told throughout this bog in various posts. I grew up a very depressed child and teen, and always confused with what was wrong with me. I felt I was different. Looking back there was so much negativity and bad/sad experiences. It wasn’t until age 18 that my family and I discovered I’d been living my entire young life undiagnosed with Bipolar disorder. This explained much of the negativity as some of it was due to the struggling I did with Bulimia for 7 years.
I had lived for 18 years with a chemical imbalance that affected my mood every waking moment, which goverened my young life. It was the horrific, strange events and experiences that led to my diagnosis. I was infatuated with a Sergeant of the U.S. Army and wound up running away to Radcliff, KY and Fort Knox to be with him for a few days. I was insane and out of my mind. Parents: Monitor your teens internet activity from time to time, because you just never know…
This was just the beginning.
I began to cut. The scars of self harm remain on my 28 year old body. Even though its all exactly a decade ago now, Its as real as yesterday. I have another woman’s memories and her wounds. Following high school graduation and second semester of freshman year in college were a lot of behaviors, ideas, and friends that were most definitely not mine. I was manic a lot-and when not manic, hypo-manic. I spent that summer and into the spring of 2004 sky high with Bipolar mania.
I broke my mother’s heart and worried my family and betrayed friends, and myself as well.
However, I believe that Jesus Christ is The Son of God and that through Him alone there is Salvation, and also happiness. There’s a peace and joy in Jesus like nothing I’ve ever known.
God sees. He hears you. You are NOT over. Do not give up. He has plans for you, and He loves you more than anyone ever has or ever could. He is Almighty. He is everything. I praise Him in this moment and always for saving my life, and mind so that I may take care of my soul, and live to honor Him. I am so grateful that there is hope in Christ.
Let your problems be known! Precious one, call out to Jesus tonight. It never has to be a certain time or place to pray. Don’t hesitate, ever. Tomorrow is never promised, so I encourage you to consider becoming a part of God’s family through His Son, Jesus Christ.
There is nothing better you could ever do.
If you ever need someone to talk to, just message me, and I will respond asap.
God bless you tonight and always!